My perfect Cup Final

By Johnnie Smithers (9)

We had to set off really early in the morning. We got a big bus that had a lot of Hibs supporters on it.

Some of the men were drinking cans of beer and they started singing songs about Paul Hartley. The bus driver said he would stop the bus if they didn’t behave.

The road was very busy and we had to stop sometimes for the men to stand against the side of the bus. I was sick once but one man was sick lots of times.

When we got to Glasgow the police smiled and waved us on. They were very cheery and happy – I think they really enjoyed having visitors from Edinburgh. When I grow up I think I’d like to be a Glasgow policeman.

When we got near Hampden it was very exciting – all the Hearts and Hibs fans joined arms and we walked up the middle of the road singing songs together and then we had a singing competition. The Hearts fans were singing songs of a sectarian nature while we sang songs about substandard housing conditions in Gorgie, Mr Romanov’s sexual proclivities and another chap called Wallace Mercer. I don’t know who he is but everyone seemed to like singing about him so he must have been very popular – according to the song, ‘he’s deid’ so I don’t think I’ll ever get the chance to meet him.

The Glasgow people seemed to take us to their hearts – they lined the pavements as we made our way towards the football stadium, cheering and wishing us good luck. Some ladies handed out ‘ginger’ and sweeties to us children while our fathers were given drinks of ‘Bucko’ – I think it was that – and pies. Another man was handing out wee wraps of paper but the police took him away.

When we got to the football ground we had time for a reasonably priced snack in the stadium and settled down to enjoy the football. I was sitting next to a Hearts supporter called Charles and he and I became firm friends. He didn’t smell at all and we shared our fruit pastilles – we shook hands and we both said: ‘Good luck, and may the best team win!’

The football game was very exciting. I missed the end because the man who kept being sick on the bus was sitting in front of me and the stewards took him away because he was trying to do a wee wee on the seat in front. The lady who was sitting there was jolly indignant! He missed the end of the game too.

I think the game was a draw and the teams agreed that, because it had been such a splendid game, they would share the Cup.

Everyone went home happy and we were back home in time for tea. The man who tried to do the toilet on the ladies’ seat had to stay in Glasgow – I’ll bet he didn’t get spaghetti hoops and chips for tea!

 THE END

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About davepickering

Edinburgh reporter and photographer
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